Thursday, 16 February 2017

Terrible News of Gloom and Doom

Let's get straight to the point, un-pallatable as it may be, the world is heading for the Apocalypse. And this is how it happens, according to latest, and very accurate, research by various scientists.

The sun, the source of all energy to this planet, will run out of fuel in approximately a billion years time. As it runs out of the very essence that makes it burn so brightly, the sun itself will implode on itself very much like a shrinking balloon or ball and enter a self-created black hole sucking in the whole universe, including the earth, within it.

Coinciding with such an event, and perhaps related to it, a whole galaxy of stars will be drawn towards the earth and crash it with such force resulting in extreme thunder and lightning and fires consuming the planet and all upon and within it.

However, horrible as this scenario may be, yet another un-related event, is likely to happen many centuries earlier which will result in the extinction of the human race.

This is due to the fact of an inherent faulty Y chromosome in men. Since it is the male chromosome which determines the sex of a baby being born, this faulty Y chromosome will drastically reduce the number of males being born to humankind to the point where eventually only females will be produced. As the number of men is reduced to zero the whole reproduction system will be in jeopardy and humanity will cease to exist; unless science can find a solution before then. Which seems highly unlikely.

Consequently, the human race will be faced with yet another disaster as there will be no men to catch the spiders when they fall in the bath.

The population of spiders will increase drastically as they breed in every bath in the world and climb upon each other to escape out of the bathroom and spread throughout the world.

There will be spiders' webs everywhere getting thicker and thicker and stronger and able to trap bigger preys other than flies and insects.

Instead, the webs will be full of all kinds of animals and birds, and even humans, who happened to get caught and served as a meal to such giant spiders.

With cows being eaten to extinction there will be a world shortage of burgers which will in itself precipitate the Apocalypse.

As already scientifically proven, the cow's digestive system produces large amounts of methane gas contributing to global warming. With such a drastic reduction in the world's cows population this will greatly precipitate a new ice age - known as a Popsicle.

One glimmer of light in the horizon is that scientists and others have often wrongly predicted the end of the world.

Remember when they said the world will end in 2012?

Of course, the world did not end in 2012 because we had the London Olympics in the UK and we had spent a lot of tax payers' money preparing for it. The Government, therefore, decreed by Act of Parliament that the end of the world would be postponed until the country has had an opportunity to recoup the investment made in organising and running the Olympics Games.

Once again, Britain led the world and saved it at the same time. By its example, it seems humanity has a real chance to avoid such world-ending disasters predicted by scientific research. 

It is suggested that world Governments should hold regularly big events such as the Olympic Games, or other sporting or musical events, at yearly intervals so that people have something to look forwards to and not worry about the shortage of burgers and fries.

Additionally, it is recommended that menfolk should teach their wives and girl-friends how to catch spiders out of bath tubs.

6 comments:

  1. The KING of Loose Association got me today with the Age of Popsicle! Laughing, Victor!
    Bless You!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Scientists have not specified what flavour Popsicle it will be. I thing strawberry.

      God bless you, Lulu.

      Delete
  2. Oh, my, Victor! What a story! God bless you, my friend. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Cheryl,

      We can avoid all this trouble ahead by learning how to take spiders out of a bath.

      God bless you and yours.

      Delete
  3. LOL. If it would help I can donate my Y chromosome for the preservation of the planet and civilization.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good idea, Manny. Perhaps we should start a Y chromosome bank for people to donate.

      God bless you and your family.

      Delete

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