Tuesday, 3 November 2015

Silent Wives

I have just bought the latest satellite navigation system for my car. It is called, believe it or not, "Silent Wives".

The instructions in the manual explain: "This navigation system uses the latest technology and is as accurate as you would wish it to be. It is like having your wife sitting next to you and guiding you every inch of the way to your final destination. Your wife can now relax in silence as "Silent Wives" shows you the way!"

I used it a few moments ago and recorded what the female voice on the machine said:

"Drive down this road for 0.5 miles and then turn left into Market Street.

"You should be turning left into Market Street shortly.

"You are going a little fast in a built up area. Slow down.

"Watch out for that old lady crossing the road.

"You are too close to the parked cars.

"Turn left now ... left ...left ... not this left, the other left ... I mean right!

"You took that right turn too sharpish. Where did you learn to drive? The Clown School of Motoring?"

I tell you folks; this navigation system is the best. You should try it.

APOLOGIES to any lady readers. I hope you have a sense of humour.

15 comments:

  1. Victor, obviously, you enjoy living on the ragged edge. Watch your back--your wife may now finally push you over!
    Blessings, Friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Truly Lulu I find it distracting whilst driving being told every little detail ahead on the road. Also at home being told this and that and this again. I've tried the TV remote control to silence all this talk but it does not seem to work properly on people.

      God bless.

      Delete
    2. That's incorrect usage of the remote Victor. You're suppose to throw it at the human noise. That always works. [Now your wife is gonna get me ...] *tee hee*
      Very funny post. I'm still giggling. ~:)

      Delete
    3. It's good to laugh Sparky. I'm not really as bad as I make out. (I've been given permission to say this).

      God bless.

      Delete
  2. LOL!!! Hilarious! Love it! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so glad I made you laugh Tai. Thank you.

      God bless.

      Delete
  3. Hmm, my wife was horrible at directions and helping me out with signs. I finally think getting our GPS thingy saved our marriage. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Manny,

      My GPS system also works indoors. It says: "Haven't you fixed that shelf yet? Take the trash out. You've had too many biscuits ..."

      God bless.

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. Hope you were not offended, Mary.

      God bless.

      Delete
    2. Of course not :) I love humor!

      Delete
    3. I'm so glad. It's great to see you visiting here again, Mary.

      God bless.

      Delete
  5. Just saw this, and no, not offended at all. In fact, I'd buy it for my husband - I like being silent and in my own world when in the car.

    And it sure beats having to be his GPS -
    Slow down!
    Brake!
    There's a car coming!
    And you're still going?!!!
    Another one coming, let him go.
    Idiot! (the driver of the other car, not hubby)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Victor, where's Mary N? She hasn't been around for soooooo long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you enjoyed my type of humour. I haven't seen Mary N in Blogland for ages.

      God bless.

      Delete

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