Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Auntie’s Phone Antics



I was at the computer working. Aunt Gertrude picked up the phone and rasped in Australian “Mornin’ to ye. What can I do for ye t’day?

… … …

“He’s busy right now … can’t it wait cobber?

… … …

“Important? I tell you mate! The Good Lord Himself took six days to make the whole universe and what’s in it; He then put His feet up and had a rest on the seventh day. What could be more important than that?

… … …

“You fellas are always rushing around in a hurry like a wallaby with diarrhea. I always told my second husband not to rush, but would he listen? Then one day in his rush he fell down the stairs, broke his neck and died, and I was left to raise the kids alone. Now is that worth rushing for, I ask ye?

… … …

“As I said, he is busy. He will phone ye back when ready ma darlin’. He's such a fusspot you know, and ever so slow. He’ll never be the first fly on a dog’s poo … not him!

… … …

“Fair dinkum mate. I’ll get him to phone ye!”

I asked her who was on the phone as she finished talking.

“Some fella called Robbie MacNamara … Told ’im you’ll ring back when you’re less busy!” she replied.

“Robbie MacNamara?” I cried, “that’s my boss. He is the Director of Finance. You don’t talk to him like that!”

“I thought he was a telephone marketing person selling you something or other,” she replied nonchalantly, “seemed a nice fella, must have Australian ancestry I shouldn’t wonder!”

I rang my boss immediately to apologise for my aunt’s outrageous behaviour. He said that she was charming and amusing.

I bet he only said that to annoy me!

12 comments:

  1. I think I must have missed something with this post, Fuss...Victor.

    I've read it several times, trying to find something outrageous but it's all so amusing - and isn't it sweet of Auntie to perform your secretarial duties for you?!

    Perhaps, you were apologising for inconveniencing your guest with your outrageous encroachment upon her holiday time? Or, for being too slow to answer your own phone?? Victor, I wouldn't worry too much - I think Auntie is probably way too charming to be offended by innate fussiness. But, you might want to be nice to your boss - it sounds like you've annoyed him!

    God bless:-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vicky, the thing is ... when one is a guest in someone's home one is expected to behave politely. Not answer the phone and speak to one's boss as Aunt Gertrude did; and certainly not call me names like fusspot to him. He said to me this morning "I see others have noticed too that you are somewhat slow!"

      I am not slow. Just careful. Especially when dealing with management reports and the like.

      God bless, Vicky.

      Delete
  2. Victor, What will we all do for entertainment when Aunt Gertrude has to return home? I'll miss her. Maybe she can stop at my house and be my secretary for a bit! I even have my mom and aunt reading about her..They laughed their heads off.
    Blessings +

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think you'd want Aunt Gertrude as your secretary Caroline. She'd go on and on in her loud voice which can be heard for miles around.

      I'm so glad your mom and aunt enjoy reading about her. It's great to have new readers. Perhaps I'll write a book about Aunt Gertrude soon. In the meantime your mom and aunt can enjoy my other books. Download yours FREE from the link at the top left of this Blog.

      God bless you and your whole family.

      Delete
  3. LOVE THE DIALECT- YOU CAPTURE SO WELL- i CAN "HEAR IT "

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good on ye cobber! But I must say ma darlin' I have no dialect. Australian is spoken this way!

      God bless you Melanie.

      Delete
  4. Great story, Victor! I really like this Auntie of yours!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is pushing my patience to the limit !!!

      God bless you Mary.

      Delete
  5. You have such a gift, Victor.

    God Bless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope I made you smile, Michael.

      God bless.

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. I'm glad I made you laugh, Debbie.

      God bless.

      Delete

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