Why is it that people mistake the way I dress for what it is not?
Let me explain.
The other day we went to the circus as a family. I was dressed in my usual cowboy type hat with a large feather on the side, an orange colored jacket with large squares in a lighter shade of orange, and bright red tartan trousers; not forgetting my favorite bow tie of course!
We sat in the big top, which as you all know is a large circular tent with the audience sitting all round the circumference with the show taking place in the middle area of the tent.
The music was blaring loudly, every one was happy with excitement and all was going well … until someone pointed out that they’d forgotten something in the car. Being the gentleman that I am I got up to get the forgotten item.
On the way back I must have mistakenly taken the wrong opening in the tent. I stood in a long corridor type enclosure with a lot of other people some dressed as clowns, others in Tarzan type outfits carrying heavy weights, others in ballerina costumes, and then behind me people came holding on to horses, and one man gave me a small donkey to hold by a rope tied to his neck. Then further behind us came more people with elephants and tigers in cages on trucks.
There was a big drum roll from inside the tent and pretty soon everyone moved forwards to a loud fanfare.
It was obvious to every one but me that I was part of the big entrance into the large tent announcing the start of the show.
I had no option but to walk forwards with the crowd holding on to the donkey.
As we entered the tent the clowns beside me started to throw a large beach ball at each other.
One of them caught the ball and threw it at me knocking my hat off!
I heard the audience roar in delight.
I stopped and bent down to pick up my hat when the clown behind me kicked me in the backside to the delight of the audience, except my family sitting nearby!
I let go of the rope holding the donkey and went back for my hat. At which point, for some reason, the donkey ran away from the orderly queue and started hopping up and down like a wild bucking bronco.
This frightened the elephants which started trumpeting loudly.
Fortunately someone caught the donkey quickly and order was restored although the audience thought it was all part of the show as they applauded enthusiastically and laughed loudly.
I put on my hat and walked in unison with everyone else once more around the big tent. Whilst looking straight ahead trying to avoid eye contact with my family I accidentally stepped into a deposit left there by an elephant. The audience near me at the time whooped in delight!
Eventually I followed everyone else out of the big tent and I made my way back to the car to get cleaned up.
I returned to my family and had great difficulty explaining the whole situation to them.